The way in which we wait

Please hold.
So begins the incessant tone of the machine
No one on the other side picks up
So I wait, for indication and validation.
I don’t do anything but wait anymore
Except of course, trying to receive an answer.
I’m afraid of leaving, in the slightest chance
That someone might answer and I’m absent.
What if, someone picks up and they realise.
So I hold, as I am told, because I am told
That soon, someone will reply.
I trust that someone will reply.
Like an animal waiting for food,
A day in the waiting room,
The recurring ticking of the second-hand,
And the cyclical changing of the days,
I am told,
Please Hold.

19-08-2008

The greatest satisfaction I get at the end of everyday is crossing off the days on my calender.

Big Dreams

"Does it count if it's only a dream"
- Arundathi Roy, God of Small Things

Cambridge, Prague, Europe, Africa, The Hague, Human Rights, International Law. I have big dreams.
Does it count if they're only dreams. Do our dreams define us or do the proactive actions that follow the intent characterise our identities?
One can be charged for the intent of murder so surely the will must count for something.
But why does it matter if at the end of the day we are all branded failures if we don't get our big dreams.
And is it worth working for these big dreams that probably won't happen. It's so easy to say something so cliche about not being able to get them if you don't try. But what if trying is so hard that you don't think it's worth it anymore. What makes something worth your while. How do I know it's going to be worth my while, and what if it turns out that it isn't. Then will it be worth it because I tried or will it have been wasted for nothing.

I have Big Dreams but I don't think they count.

i think i just forgot myself for two seconds