Seven

One scoop. Two scoops. Three
Fill it up - the cup, to the brim
Squeeze out the cream, cream it
Now it's done.
Fill me up, fill me up
Four scoops. Five scoops. Six
More, more, MORE
Give me more
Thick, sweet and so damn hot
But cold, icy cold
Sigh, more
Fill it
Cream, cream, cream
the cream.
harder, push it harder.

I was complaining (surprise surprise) about my Extended Essay on Saturday and about how hard it was to find sources for my topic. My cousin heard what I said and said to me, "Change your topic then" and I replied to her, "But I really want to write about Leopold". She said very plainly to me, "It isn't about what you want to do, it's about how well you can do in it. It doesn't matter if you don't like it".

I was and still am horrified at the thought of spending 1 years worth of time on something that I am not passionate about. And I think that is the way so many people see things. To get it over with, be done with and just bear with it. And honestly, that is the way I perceive things most of the time; especially with high school. I can't wait to be over and done with with Year 12 I say repeatedly. That phrase just plays over in my mind as often as I think about school and seeing that that is where I spend the majority of my time, I would say a lot. But now that I think about it, doing something just for the sake of doing it and hating every moment of it and not being able to wait for it to end is a horrible way to endure something. Thinking about how long I have left at school, a year and what two months tops is not a long time and will probably be over before I know it.

Passion is I think the one thing in life that I do not want to ever lose. I feel passionately about many things, traveling the world, my animals, reading the great classics of literature and without a doubt the mighty hippy era of music, the 60s. Your passions in life are at the end of it what define you. They are how people remember you and they are the things that leave lasting impressions. Our passions are the things that individualise our lives, moulding it into something original and unprecedented. Because what would our lives be if we were all to do things becasue of 'how well you can do in it'.

But of course, in the end, what are we all aiming for? We try to take safe paths, things that we assume will give us the future we want but I am bloody 17. What do I know? I think that I am so sure what I want to do. I can't even remember now a time where I didn't want to do Arts/Law. And to be honest I am quite sure I want to do Arts/Law but afterwards, after receiving hopefully that degree I have been working nearly half my life to, what will I do. What will I do then. Do we choose the safe path or do we follow our passions and do what we love? Seventeen. Just 17 years of this life and even now I am not sure I am mature enough to choose my own dresses without second opinions.

Passion.

I think that above all things, I will try to the most of my ability to choose what I am passionate about. And I am rather passionate about backpacking in Europe.

If God has any mercy on me whatsoever he will kill me now

GUESS WHAT BITCHES
Term 4 is starting tomorrow and I want DEATHHHHH

Exams, portfolios, commentaries, even more extended essay, group 4 projects
What is there to live for

I can't decide. VCE IB. VCE IB.
I have 8 weeks to figure out if I can continue doing Maths and Chem.
I am going to have to work so damn hard.

I am so bloody immature I can't even decide.
Here is my plan of attack, I am going to work my arse off this term for Maths and Chem and if I don't get A's in them or convincing B's I will start crying and threatening suicide and then I will definitely do Maths Studies.

That is my fall back plan, Maths studies.

This term is going to be death, I can tell. And then of course the bloody summer where all I will be doing is Extended Essay, CAS, Maths and Chemistry. YOU KNOW WHAT, life is good.